SPIRITUAL LEADER JOKES
The Dalai Llama has toothache so he makes an appointment to see his dentist.
When he gets there and enters the surgery he tells the Dentist that he wants no anaesthetic of any kind for his treatment.
The Dentist asked why and he replied that he wanted to - Transcend Dental Medication!
What did the yogi say to the sandwich vendor at the ball game?
Make me one with everything! After the man received his sandwich, he gave the vendor a $20 bill. The vendor just smiled. The man, infuriated, demanded, "Where is my change."
The vendor replied, "O, one with everything, change comes from within."
Q. What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners?
A. Too many attachments!
Q. What did the sign in the window of the yoga master searching for a new disciple say?
A. Inquire within!
Q. Why did the yogi refuse anaesthesia when having his wisdom teeth removed?
A. He wanted to transcend-dental-medication!
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied "I wish no gifts, only presence" Q: How many yogis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Into what?
"I think it would be a good idea." -- Mahatma Gandhi when asked what he thought about Western civilization)
Three Yogis are doing meditative in a remote cave. One day a sound is heard from outside the cave. After about six months, one of the yogis says, "Did you hear that goat?" Once again, there was silence. About a year later, one of the other Yogis says, "That wasn't a goat; it was a mule." Again, there was silence. About two years later the third yogi says, "If you two don't stop arguing, I'm leaving."
Did you hear about the yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth. When the dentist asked him if he wanted novocaine, the yogi said "No. I can transcend dental medication."
Four monks were meditating in a monastery. All of a sudden the prayer flag on the roof started flapping. The younger monk came out of his meditation and said: "Flag is flapping"
A more experienced monk said: "Wind is flapping"
A third monk who had been there for more than 20 years said: "Mind is flapping."
The fourth monk who was the eldest said, visibly annoyed: "Mouths are flapping!"
An aspiring Yogi wanted to find a Guru. He went to an Ashram and his preceptor told him: You can stay here but we have one important rule - all students observe Mouna or vow of silence. You will be allowed to speak in 12 years. After practicing for 12 long years Yoga Asanas, Meditation, a lot of Karma Yoga, etc., the day came when the student could say his one thing or ask his one question.
He said: "The bed is too hard."
He kept going for another 12 years of hard Sadhana and austere discipline and got the opportunity to speak again. He said: "The food is not good."
Twelve more years of hard work and he got to speak again. Here are his words after 36 years of practice: "I quit."
His Guru quickly answered: "Good, all you have been doing anyway is complaining."
Three Yogis are doing meditative in a remote cave. One day a sound is heard from outside the cave. After about six months, one of the yogis says, "Did you hear that goat?" Once again, there was silence. About a year later, one of the other Yogis says, "That wasn't a goat; it was a mule." Again, there was silence. About two years later the third yogi says, "If you two don't stop arguing, I'm leaving."....
